Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
