I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
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i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
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we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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