I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
