We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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