The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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