I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
