Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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