Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
