i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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