scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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