The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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