my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
