Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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