Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just found puke in my bra..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
