I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
