I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
