I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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