thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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