K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
