My friends, they love my intelligence
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We got so high we made milksteak
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
