i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
