Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
