She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
