I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
