planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
