just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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