I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
