porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
