I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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