If i come over, it means nothing
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
