She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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