i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
