Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
