Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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