seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
