Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
