btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We had to coat check the pizza.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
