that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
