Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
