normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
