So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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