btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So vagazzling was a success
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