i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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