I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
