They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
