please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
