have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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