i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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