my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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