Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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