There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
