Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
pop tarts are not kleenex
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I didn't notice because vodka
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
