I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
