She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
