I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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