you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
