Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you had me at cake vodka
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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