Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
