my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
