Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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