i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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